I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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