carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
