Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
