I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
