do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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