Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
