just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
