i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
