went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
