so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
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Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
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I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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