we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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