I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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