4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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