I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
