MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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