Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
