Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
