I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
