I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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