I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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