So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I am available for nakedness
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
