do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
