Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
