You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
