I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
