I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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