did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
