i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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