I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
