glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
