That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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