i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
