I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Randomize