There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
