everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize