please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
false alarm. still invincible.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
