she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
