So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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