I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
