You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize