Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
