They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
