i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
