Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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