im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
