She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
