it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
