physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
