There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize