You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
how does that bad decision feel?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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