so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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