There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
