seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
