No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
