dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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