Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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