if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
