How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
