Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
