You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
