omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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