Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
