Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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